Sunday, February 27, 2011

The F Word

No, not that one. I’m talking about a different “f-word” – failure. Our culture shies away from the failure label. Some folks even refuse to use it, preferring euphemisms like “challenge” or “issue.” There’s something even more powerful than pretending failure doesn’t exist. That is embracing it as evidence of growth and a crucial pathway to success.

After all, failure and success are two sides of the same coin. You often must persevere past setbacks before you reach your goal. Most high achievers will tell you they’ve failed plenty of times. What set them apart is they didn’t let it stop them.

To take the sting out of this f-word, try looking at it head on – “That approach was a failure.” “I failed at producing that result using that method.” Big deal. Now you know something you didn’t know before – namely one approach that doesn’t work.

There’s a story that when a reporter asked Thomas Edison how it felt to fail 10,000 times in trying to invent the light bulb, he replied, “I have successfully found 10,000 ways it will not work.” But the question gave him a light bulb moment. He realized that to succeed he was going to need to fail faster, so he hired assistants and got busy attempting even more approaches until he finally hit on the one the did the trick.

Maybe it’s time to reframe failure. Instead of seeing it as a painful and embarrassing calamity, view it as an inevitable part of the success process and even cause for celebration. Failure means you put something out there. You tried, you learned and you probably got further than 80% of others. That’s nothing to be ashamed of. You might even set a goal to fail even bigger and faster, knowing that bigger success awaits you on the other side.



© 2011 Barbara Wayman, APR, BlueTree Media, all rights reserved

Barbara Wayman, APR, president of BlueTree Media, LLC, publishes The Stand Out Newsletter, an award-winning monthly ezine for people who want to know how to leverage the power of marketing and public relations. Get your free subscription today at http://BlueTreeMedia.com

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Big Rocks Revisited

Have you heard that story about the teacher who showed his students how to get a sizable amount of big rocks, little rocks, sand and water into a jar, as long as they put the big rocks in first? The analogy was that the big rocks are your most important relationships and they deserve your first consideration.

With the pace of life today and the demands of both the online and offline worlds, how many of us can really be certain we're giving our most important relationships priority? Typically we're hounded on the phone, email, mail and social media by people who are either strangers or far from our inner circle. Yet these folks can easily consume a lot of our daily attention.

Social science suggests we can only have around ten close personal relationships at a time. This matches what I learned at a recent conference: on average only 10 people will cry at your funeral. And of those who attend, 50% will look to the weather to decide if they go out to the cemetery afterwards. Can you even identify the top ten relationships in your life right now? Are you guilty of letting people who don't matter matter?

Last year I made it a habit to write down the names of the people who are most key for my happiness and success. Then I took it a step further. I kept that list on my desk and cross referenced it to my monthly calendar. This step can be a shock if you've never done it before. You may find the way you spend your time is totally out of alignment with who is most important to you. If this is the case, seeing things in black and white can help you fix that.

TIP: This quarter, why not identify your top ten relationships and periodically see if your calendar reflects your priorities. And look for ways to make yourself less available to the others. Let some calls go to voicemail. Don't answer every email, just click delete. Take a social media fast every now and then. Trust me, you will miss very little of importance. Put the energy into your big rocks instead and let me know what happens.

Barbara Wayman, president of BlueTree Media, LLC, publishes The Stand Out Newsletter, an award-winning ezine for people who want to know how to leverage the power of marketing and public relations. Get your free subscription today at http://www.bluetreemedia.com

This article may be reprinted when the copyright and author bio are included.

©2010 Barbara Wayman, BlueTree Media, LLC.